Monday, September 10, 2007

Fed on Fire!


"Fed's on fire...!" That's how the official US Open website describes Roger's blistering performance at the Flushing Meadows finals, where a sizzling serial of salvos from the firebrand that is Federer in the end proved too hot for 20-year old upset-upstart Djokovic to handle. Roger ended up surprising records held by tennis greats, Bjorn Borg and Rod Laver, in Grand Slam totals and creating another one of his own - 4 Wimbledon and 4 US Open wins in a row, a feat unprecedented in tennis history. I found it curious that the top radio media, BBC in particular, were particularly mute today about the meet. After frenetic to-the-minute updating
throughout yesterday, the newstream just shrivelled up peremptorily for some reason. I guess a Djokovic win would've evinced a more animated response, eh
mrgreen? With all fairness to him, I think the Serb's challenge was pretty ferocious, and watching his rise lately seems like a re-run of Roger's earlier years. Call me presumptuous, but the man to beat after Fed's gone is Djokovic, not Nadal ('Heard it here first). A Federer triumph seems so pedestrian these days, people often forget what steely will and gritty resolve is required to achieve such consistent mastery (wait a minute. 'steely will and gritty resolve'? Did I just tautologizerazz?). In any case he's still got one record to beat: the Sampras 14. Let’s hope his drive keeps up.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

A Royal Flush at Flushing Meadows?



A pair of lissome gazelles grazes at the Flushing Meadows, scene of the 2007 US Open. They are Wimbledon winner Venus Williams and World No. 1, Roger Federer, two of the most graceful players in the world arena of tennis and my personal favourites. Now, I’m not the regular gawking, hair-pulling, eye-gouging hyper fan, but during the meet, I’ve followed every encounter this duo of tennis royals have been involved in quite keenly, experienced the nervous heart-leaps with every falter and luxuriated in the depthless euphoria of every triumph. And now they sail to the semis over rivals Jankovic and Roddick respectfully. Could a royal flush at the finals be in the offing for Flushing Meadows? Ssshhh, don’t jinx it, dammit evil

The Naira Revaluation Saga: Dateline

- August 14: CBN Governor, Charles Soludo unveils naira revaluation plan.

- August 15: Yar’Adua summons Soludo to FEC meeting to define his plans. FEC commissions Economic Management Team (EMT) to vet the strategy; Finance Minister, Dr. Shamsudeen Usman, reassures that autonomy of the CBN is not in question, citing EMT contributions as merely “advisory”.

- August 22: EMT suggests cursory amendments, including a review of implementation date (August 1, 2008) and voicing concerns over decision to gradual phase old currency, arguing that cost of implementation would be prohibitive.

- August 24: Attorney-General of the Federation, Mr. Michael Aondoakaa, announces that CBN Governor is in breach of the CBN Act 2007 by not obtaining written approval from the President before making the policy public, orders the suspension of further actions on the plan.

- August 27: Soludo capitulates to FEC pressure, acquiescing to Presidential transcendence on monetary decisions as constituted in Section 19 of the CBN Act 2007.

Like the proverbial flash in the pan, the naira redenomination spectacular was over in a fortnight. Personally, I feel sad for Soludo. The idea was ingenious, impressive. The President wasn’t impressed, though, and as I got to learn, if Soludo hadn’t been so politically inept, he might have seen it coming. The first sign was when his junior was appointed Federal Minister of Finance instead of him. Then he and EFCC boss Ribadu were unceremoniously dropped from the EMT, the think-tank I later discovered he’d himself conceived. The last straw was when subordinate officials were drawn from the CBN to enflesh the team. Clearly the writing blazed from the wall that Soludo had fallen out of favour, and as the vultures circled, it would’ve been more prudent to tread carefully. And trust me, there were vultures. A particularly hostile horde is an influential conclave of powerbrokers from the President’s region of extraction, the Northern Union (NU). With more northerners now clinching top positions in the present administration, the NU were more than a little miffed that a southerner still held fort at the apex bank and were gagging for Soludo to slip. Then with atrocious sense of timing, Soludo delivered on a silver platter August 14 and his political enemies rubbed their hands with glee. What’s worse, by supposedly misinterpreting the CBN Act 2007 as the source of autonomy in implementation of the revaluation policy, Soludo had implicitly challenged presidential authority and shot himself in the leg. No surprise then that when the gavel was whipped down calling him to order, it was heavy. The Attorney-General of the Federation, doubtlessly livid at not being consulted, had him for breakfast. Now, even after eating humble pie on August 28th, the certitude of Soludo’s tenure hangs over his head like a gleaming sword of Damocles. Whom the President appoints, he can disappoint.

But controversy surrounds the linchpin of this debate, namely Section19 of the CBN Act 2007. As the Nigerian Guardian bureau chief, Madu Onuorah ponders, “…if you are searching at the CBN website for the CBN Act, in order to read for yourself the contending Section 19 Sub-sections (1) and (2), you won't find it. You can get highlights of Sections 1 to 12. But Sections 13 to 19 are not available. And when inquiries were made from some top Nigerians on how to get a copy of the CBN Act, the question posed to a journalist was instructive: "is it the fake or the authentic copy?" This means there are two versions of the CBN Act in circulation. Then, who has the authentic copy? Who worked with the fake copy? Which one did Prof. Soludo or Mr. Aondoakaa work with?”

Well, there it is. Whereas elsewhere in the free world, the autonomy of central banks in executing monetary policy is fundamental, in Nigeria, down is up, like the realms of Davy Jones’ Locker in the Pirates of the Caribbean. I still support Soludo’s shimmering vision of a reinvigorated naira, and with a bit more patience and lobby-savvy, perhaps in the future he could susurrate the sound advice into Yar’Adua’s ears and softly sidle his way into his good graces instead of grandstanding in panic to sound off his relevance. He’ll be hard pressed to find the Pres. in an accommodative mood any time soon, though. Lord knows these days the man’s so busy setting up supervisory bodies over every strategically positioned sector of the economy faster than you can build shacks in a Maroko ghetto, often chairing the commissions himself. Now, he’s ruminating over the advantages of exercising emergency powers over the energy sector. Hm…is Yar’Adua a power-hungry megalomaniac, or just a dedicated control freak…question? Oh the heck with it. Deciphering that is early days yet. I’ll catch the US Open quarters instead.

Quotes of a Criminal Mind

They’ve got this knack for citing poignant quotes on the TV series Criminal Minds, and I’ve enjoyed mulling over them. This set’s from Season 1. Caution: The selection has been adulterated by a criminal mind - yours trulycool

Mich
-It’s nice to have friends. Nicer still is to go through the thicket of trial, then look back and see how many are left.

Dr Thomas Fuller
-With foxes, we must play the fox.

Joseph Conrad
-The belief in the supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.

Harriet Beecham Stowe
-The bitterest tears shed over graves are for the words left unsaid and the deeds left undone.

Emerson
-All is riddle and the key to the riddle, another riddle.

Samuel Beckett
-Try again, fail again, fail better.

Yoda
-Try not. Do, or do not.

Mich
-You can’t dig your own grave and expect not to pay for the coffin.

Winston Churchill
-The further backward you can look, the farther forward you will see.

Nietzsche
-When you look long into the abyss, the abyss looks into you.

James Reese
-There are certain clues at a crime scene which by their very nature do not lend themselves to be collected or examined.

Einstein
-Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.

Faulkner
-Don’t bother to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.

Samuel Johnson
-Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those we cannot resemble.

Nietzsche
-The irrationality of a thing is not an argument against its existence, rather, a condition of it.

Shakespeare
-Nothing is so common as the wish to be remarkable.

Mich
-Living is certain death.

Sherlock Holmes
-When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, is the truth.

Robert Bolton
-Belief is not just an idea the mind possesses; it’s an idea that possesses the mind.

Peter Ustinov
-Unfortunately, a superabundance of dreams is paid for by a growing potential for nightmares.


Eugene Inesco
-Ideologies separate us. Dreams and anguish bring us together.


Mich
Whatever a man deludes his mind to think he is, the same is he

Of Lawmakers and "Long-Throats"

In Nigeria, the term “long-throat” is employed when someone exhibits an irrepressible trait of avarice. The current blow-out of graft accusations aboard the country’s House of Representatives would suggest avarice there is not a mere trait; it’s a veritable disease, spreading virulently from the top down; more’s the shame ‘cos the top is occupied by a woman.

A lady of lowly Ikire beginnings, Mrs. Patricia Olubunmi Etteh was thrust into the public eye by that hard-churning engine of politics and fortuitously became the highest-placed female in public service as Speaker of what lawmakers themselves fondly refer to as the “Hallowed Chambers”. The profligate conduct of its occupants however relate a totally untoward tale, and since her instatement, the actions of Madame Speaker have only served to deepen the irony of such an appellation, from throwing a birthday bash in the States to taking gratuitous medical trips abroad. In a more recent turn of events I’d like to call the Renovation Rigmarole, Etteh and her deputy, Mr. Babangida Nguroje, were accused to have expended a whopping 628m ($ 5.0 million) to renovate their official residences (What’s that, a state’s budgetary allocation for the quarter?). These allegations came on the heels of yet another medical trip, which needless to say was cut short abruptly in the interest of political longevity, something she should’ve given more thought to earlier, considering that the whistleblowers were Assembly Reps who’d apparently been overlooked when juicy committee placements were shared out on resumption.

The up-shot of this falling-out is more revelations have been made to indicate these gluttonous activities were not perpetrated in isolation: Deputy Senate President, Ike Ekweremadu had also purportedly ‘upgraded’ his dwellings to the tune of 29m ($ 0.2 million). Speaking of the Upper House, the Senate President, rtd Major Gen. David Mark, is himself embroiled in electoral litigation. His opponent, a Mr. Usman Abubakar, who’s filed a court petition against Mark, insists he was the true winner at the ballot box and was robbed of victory by Mark who got in by the backdoor, supposedly aided by the electoral body INEC. While the bespectacled poster-child-for-alopecia Senator is keeping mum about the petition, he seems to be employing populist tactics to steer the contentious issue out of court. Last week Wednesday 150 women of his ethnicity from Idoma, Benue State (earth mothers all, God bless ‘em), rallied in a public street protest against the court petition, ferrying their grievances to the doorsteps of their village chieftains for them to initiate an ‘urgent intervention’. Meanwhile INEC repeatedly thwarts court directives to release the official vote count roster.

At the moment, Madam Speaker's engaged in a flurry of harum-scarum consultations with juggernauts of the Lower and Upper House for an emergency salvage from this slew of rip-roaring mud-slinging and possible impeachment. He he… Lawmaking politicking certainly just got greasier from all indications, and sadly, Patricia Etteh might just be the first head to roll. But this, as they say sometimes, is the land of cats with nine lives. That said, if she does go down, at least she won’t go down alone. Maybe she could become the “Deep Throat of Long-Throats”…